French Misadventures 2023

Our summer jollies to the Alps this year had mixed results…

Morzine – Les Gets Downhill Mountain Biking

We kicked off with some fun remembering just how hard the downhill mountain biking trails at Morzine are. There’s just not a lot in and around the Lakes or southern Scotland that compares to what’s on offer in the Portes du Soleil!

Rock Climbing

On a “rest day” from the MTB’ing we discovered a brilliant multi-pitch sport-climbing venue near Saint Jean d’Aulps, Le Pas de l’Ours.

The temperature in the Alps was around a sweltering 38C, so this east facing venue was perfect for afternoon climbing in the shade. Although the base is well hidden in the woods and so could be OK in less hot conditions. Equally climbing in the morning in full-sun would make it a great venue for stealing a day on the rock – before the snow arrives – well into the autumn too. 😉

Swimming

With the mega temperatures in the Alps another great, and very popular, option was swimming. We found the lovely venue of Lac Montriond…

Mountain Biking can be Dangerous!

Many of the harder trails have “chicken runs” that either safely sweep around the side of major obstacles to miss things like gapped-jumps, large drop-offs, etc., or to take you over less severe versions of the obstacles…

Laetitia and I were descending a top-end red trail which had several of these more technical obstacles, each had a lesser version to the side, but Laetitia felt confident and was happily accepting the challenges of the main obstacles. All of these had been steep rollers that were either rollable or jumpable. That is until the last one… If you knew the trail it would be fine, but riding it on-sight was another thing! This last obstacle was a large drop-off, and was most certainly not rollable … you had to commit and fly off the lip to land safely on the steep landing zone ahead on the trail. Unfortunately Laetitia doesn’t have much practice at drop-offs and was expecting another roller. And so it was way too late when she spotted the drop with her front wheel already on the lip and travelling at some speed! Instead of an exciting flight with her weight back, she was centred and ready to flow with the front wheel down the roller’s back side. The result, she simply went over the edge and into a dead vertical dive to the ground! She literally punched the ground still holding the bars. Then went over the handle bars, now with the bike vertical, on to her back and skidded down the landing zone feet first with the bike luckily falling off to the side.

There’s a pretty big dent in the top of her helmet! So that did it’s job.

However, the resulting grazes down her back looked pretty sore…

But worst of all was the fractured bones in her left hand…

But at least in her own words, “At least my right index finger is OK, so I can point to all the things Pete needs to do!”

We managed to limp down the remainder of the trail – well, the easier tracks to the side anyway. Arriving at the chair lift the operator suggested we get help. We said we’d be OK if he simply helped Laetitia load her bike.

However, once we got back to the top we realised that there really was a very long way to go to get to back to Morzine where the van was parked. It takes no time at all to ride normally, but Laetitia was in no state to do that. So we got honest with ourselves and accepted the offer from the lift operators of help.

Minutes later first-aid arrived. After a quick assessment, some pain killers, and a triangular bandage to keep her hand elevated, they said she could only go down in an ambulance not on the lift or in the first-aider’s truck. Another hour’s wait and the pompiers (firemen) arrived in their off-road Landrover ambulance. Off Laetitia went, leaving me and two bikes at the top of the mountain in Les Gets. I sent her bike down on the lift and I raced off to meet it at the bottom. Next I cycled with both bikes across town to the medical centre. Checked she was OK and left her sitting on the grass in the sunshine with her bike and set off again back up the lifts headed over the hill back down into Morzine and eventually back to the van. Finally getting to the drive around to Les Gets to collect the casualty…

Walking Options

What can a climber and/or mountain biker with a fractured hand do for exercise and fun in the Alps? Go for a walk…

We spotted a supposed brilliant view-point on the map near to where we were staying. And there was road access half-way up the mountain, so off we went. The road turned out to be an extremely rough rocky track! The van made a valiant effort and got us half-way up the half-way road. Therefore we had three-quarters of the ascent left to do on foot. It was 37C, and even hotter in the sun!

But it was worth the effort. What a brilliant view-point; Lake Geneva to the west, and the Alps extending forever to the east…

Portes du Soleil MTB (VTT) Tour

While the previous day’s walk had been great for its views and all that, it wasn’t that great for Laetitia’s hand. It was quite swollen and sore the next day. She decided a rest day was the best option for her. And I decided I’d try to complete the 80km Portes du Soleil (PDS) MTB Trail, hoping that it was (a) easy to follow and (b) being on my own, less technically demanding than the downhill trails.

A Flying Visit to Chamonix

There was a bit of maintenance to do in Chamonix so we managed to squeeze a flying visit in taking advantage of an unbooked night. Zac instantly knew he was at home…

A Slow Saunter Home

The weather had now turned from 37C and full-sun to showery and barely 14C; a drop in temperature of over 23C!! There was snow down to the half-way station on the Aiguille du Midi. So we decided that with the weather as it was, and with Laetitia’s injury, we’d have a slow saunter home north through France looking at a few interesting venues along the way…

The first stop was near Chateau Thierry… We’d spotted a bouldering venue, Rocher De La Hottee Du Diable, on UKC and thought that might entertain. However, when we got there it turned out that climbing had been banned there due to the recent issues with insurance claims in France! 🙁

Also in Chateau Thierry are the champagne cellars of Pannier. We thought for €20 each the tour might be fun, especially as it included a couple of glasses of fizz! 😉 Recommended! 🙂

We also visited the castle in the centre of Chateau Thierry, and finally, on the edge of town the American WWI Monument…

Break In!

While in the Chateau Thierry area we stayed in a nice AirB&B in Crezancy. That was all very nice, but we didn’t have an altogether great experience here… Accordingly the forthcoming grape harvest brings in many undesirable people hoping for informal work. It was probably one of those f***kers who decided our van, labelled as a tourist’s van with its UK sticker, was worth breaking into! Lucky for us Zac heard the driver’s window being smashed and started barking loudly at 2am. Moments later the van alarm went off. I rushed out. No one to be seen, just a pile of smashed glass!

There’s a red flashing light right in-front of the spot they stuffed a screwdriver (or whatever) in to effect their break-in. Why bother breaking in if you are gonna run away when an alarm goes off?

It took another hour to empty every last item from the now unlockable van into the AirB&B.

The following day was used up locating a window replacement service in Chateau Thierry. An expensive – in every way – and unpleasant chapter of the trip! 🙁 At least the people at the automotive glass repair shop were super friendly. I think we must have been quite a fun novelty for them to cater for. 😉

Le Cap Gris-Nez

Before heading home on Saturday morning from Calais we enjoyed Friday exploring more WWII relics around the Cap Gris-Nez…

Home

Lastly, a little slice of van-life before the ferry back home…